I slept for the past 48 hrs, guilt-free

Towards the Sun Day 3

For the longest time, I take everything personally. Rejections, feedback, criticism and compliments. I built my personality around what others think of me. It made me miserable. Fear and anxiety took hold of me and I was addicted to attention despite how alone and distracted I felt. I know, I was unkind to myself. I was misaligned with my truth and authenticity. I couldn’t sustain or attain the living I want because I forced myself into a tiny box and built a system that dimed my light.

Overwhelmed, I decided, just sleep.

Just let myself be, guilt-free.

What’s there to lose, if you already feel nothing?

So, I let myself sink into isolation and the darkest corner of my mind.

As I make love to my shadows, and dance with death in my slumber,

I ponder…

What’s the worst, if it’s only death?

In this world where self-worth is tied to one’s contribution, productivity and capitalism, why can we not rest without guilt? Why am I carrying an overpacked suitcase if I’m a visitor on this planet? Why are we so obsessed with toxic positivity that we cannot even communicate with our fears & anxiety?

I woke up today at 15h, lighter, calmer and vibrating high.